so it's been a while since i last posted on this. i finished the book a while ago, but had never taken the time to sit down and actually process through it. i was avoiding it.
but here it is. i exiled myself to starbucks and didn't start anything else until i had finished it. so here it goes.
wilderness skill #1: drink plenty of water
He invites us to come to Him and drink. Here, to "drink" means to believe, to trust, to experience...this is far more than simply knowing facts about Jesus. Think about it. Drinking implies experiencing Christ.
We first put ourselves in a position to behold him clearly. Since he is not here this is always done through his Word, whether read in the Bible, heard in a sermon, or seen in a life. Jesus said, "The words I have spoken to you are spirit and life" (John 6:63). We meet the life-giving Jesus today in his Word, and when he calls us to come and drink, it is his words to which we come.
"I don't want to ever get to a point that I think I can make it one minute without Him."
these were a couple passages i really enjoyed from this chapter. i love how she takes stuff i know in my head and have heard a million times and yet she brings it in a totally different light and i'm struck by it. i know i need to spend more time in the Word. but when she describes what drinking water is like, how it is to believe, to trust, to experience, things begin to click a little more between my head and heart. and yet again, i realize how lazy and lame i am most of the time...
i love that last quote that her friend said. she doesn't ever want to get to a point where she thinks she can make it one minute without him. oh man, i want that too. that's definitely not how i've been living though. even though i'm in fully time ministry and working on raising support, its easy to rely on my own strength. to think that the phone calls i make are all dependent on me. i need to remind myself more and more that i CANNOT make it even ONE MINUTE without HIM. yes, i have a responsibility, but i'm not dependent on MY strength. which is good. because i'm pretty weak and lazy when it comes to making calls.
wilderness skill #2: seek shelter
"The name of the Lord is a strong tower; The righteous runs into it and is safe" (Proverbs 18:10)....God's name represents His nature. Whenever the Lord reveals His name, He discloses an aspect of His character.
i love this. one of my favorite studies i've ever done is Lord, I Want to Know You by Kay Arthur. it is a study on the different names of God. it is so good. it really opened my eyes to the character of God and how the names reveal that. it really widened my perspective and deepened my knowledge of God.
one of my favorite names of God that struck me during that study and still does to this day is El Roi, the God who sees. it is found in the story of Hagar. it is just always comforting to know that even when He feels far away, He sees. He knows what is going on in my life. what i want. who has hurt me. where i want to be.
If, in your wilderness, you hesitate to run to Him, you might want to revisit who you think God is. If your image of God doesn't line up with His revelation of who He is, then you very well are believing some lies of the Enemy about God's character...The wilderness reveals our hearts. We either run to the Lord or away from Him. The decision is our own.
i think this is one of the biggest things i'm taking away from this book. it is my choice. my decision. i can sit back in my pity party for myself and avoid the truth and be lazy. or i can step up and trust God with the things of my heart. i can confront the lies i'm believing. i can admit my sin. it won't be easy or comfortable, but it will be better.
wilderness skill #3: beware of snakes
When Christ was tempted by Satan in the wilderness, each temptation came back to one thing: doubt....Each time Jesus replied to Satan's suggestive questions with three simple words: "It is written." And then, Jesus spoke out loud a truth from Scripture in response to the lies of the Enemy.
Our thoughts must be based upon truth, or we will be in big trouble. The reason? Our thoughts lead to our emotions, and our emotions lead to our actions.
The word truth means "that which has fidelity (conformity) to the original." Meaning ? There is a standard. Given that the word itself implies there is a measurement of what is "true," then it only makes sense that truth is not relative.
okay, that last one i included just because so often on campus today, i meet people who say truth is relative. ugh. i hate that. "what's right for you is fine, but it's not right for me." such a cop-out excuse.
anyways, i enjoyed this chapter. its totally true that temptation comes back to doubt. doubt that God really has the best for me, doubt that he will actually provide, doubt of where is He? why am i still here waiting?
when i'm believing those doubts and lies, then my emotions and actions reflect that. and its not pretty. i can spout the right answers to students and the people around me, but inside i'm a mess. i can push down and ignore my emotions for a while, but when i do that, they begin to take root and i begin to believe things that aren't true about myself, about others and about God. and that's when my actions begin to change.
again, its a choice for me. to believe the truth or to believe the lie. to actively trust God or to make precautions based on my own wants and desires and thoughts. its scary to think about changing that. to really trust him with the things i desire. because it sometimes feels like he's holding back, that its never going to happen for me. but i know in the long run, his way is better. i will be happier. so i need to keep my eye on him. on those promises.
yikes.
wilderness skill #4: don't eat the red berries
Whenever a person lives feeling entitled to her anger and justified in her resentment, she chooses to allow a bitter poison to brew in her heart.
the word entitled jumps out at me in this sentence. i'm always amazed by how often i feel entitled to things. like i've done something good to deserve better. that's when i realize, yet again, that i'm a sinner and i'm entitled to nothing. i deserve death. and yet by GRACE, i'm given so much more. i'm always amazed by that.
I've discovered from examining my own life and from ministering to other women that bitterness occurs in a woman's heart from three primary sources: unhealed wounds, unmet expectations, and unforgiveness.
her advice on dealing with unhealed wounds so that the pain doesn't turn into bitterness is:
1. I WILL NOT STUFF MY EMOTIONS
2. I WILL GET REAL BEFORE GOD
3. I WILL ASK FOR HELP
i'm really good at stuffing my emotions. i tend to pride myself on not being an emotional person. but really, why is that a good thing? okay, i don't want to go overboard and become an emotional girly mess who can't do anything but wallow in self-pity. but expressing how i'm really feeling, crying on occasion...that would probably be healthy.
i need to set aside more time to journal. that is a good outlet for me to get real before God, but most of the time i avoid it because it just takes so long sometimes. but its important. and i need to do it. so that will be a goal for me. to stop being lazy and avoiding my feelings by journaling more often.
asking for help. that's hard. i hate being a burden on people and i would much rather help people with their problems than deal with my own. plus i don't want to share all my crap. but i need to. and while i'm not great at it, i'll keep making baby steps towards it.
in dealing with unmet expectations:
The Lord is teaching me to be extremely careful where I place my hope. Most of us are unaware of how often we place our hope in what we expect to happen or how we expect someone to respond or act. Doing so always leads to disappointment. And disappointment can lead to anger, resentment, and you guessed it, bitterness.
oh man. that is totally me. even recently, i expected someone to act a certain way and when they didn't, i got upset, annoyed and even bitter. and yet they had no idea this was going on because i never communicated my expectations or how i was feeling. that just leads to hurt on my part and could have ruined a relationship without the other person even knowing. i'm so lame and ridiculous sometimes. even as i write this i'm think, wow miranda. i need to continue to set my hope in the Lord alone and to reign in my expectations. that would be much more helpful to my crazy girl thoughts! ;)
in dealing with unforgiveness:
So, what is forgiveness? It is simply releasing a debt that you feel is owed. The word release is huge. For if we do not choose to let go, we are bound to the person that we feel has wronged us. Is there bitterness in your heart today because of unforgiveness? If you answer yes to any of these questions, there may be someone you need to forgive.
- Do you struggle with anger toward the one who hurt you?
- Do you imagine ways of getting even or getting revenge?
- Do you still rehearse "speeches" that you'd like to deliver?
wow. yet again, i'm smacked in the face with the knowledge of the CHOICES i've been making. and that last question totally hits home. when i stuff down my emotions, i hide how much something has affected or hurt me. i don't want to be a burden or to cause someone else pain, so i just pretend everything is fine and then in my head express all that i want to say... how much i'm hurt, annoyed or angry... not the best way to deal with things. i need to release that. i need to be honest with the person and let it go. that would be the right thing to do. i hate confrontation and causing pain, so i'm going to have to work on what it looks like for me to be honest even if it's not the easiest thing for me or the other person.
that is all. that is the end. she had a few more thoughts on the journey & scripture that she shared, but that's the end of the book. wow. that is definitely one of the best books i've read in a while. simply because it was heart-wrenching for me. it wasn't one i could just breeze through because there was so much that applied to how i was feeling. i needed that.
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